The Not-So-Secret Thoughts of My Hungry Dog — Pets in the Kitchen

My dog, Goblin, is what dog trainers like to call "food-motivated." She will do anything for a morsel of something good and always tries out her most plaintive puppy dog eyes on every friend who comes to visit for dinner. It's kind of pathetic — especially because begging for food off our plates has never, ever worked. But the endearing-slash-annoying thing about dogs that every dog lover knows is that they never stop hoping.

If I could listen in on Goblin's most misguided inner monologue, I think it would sound a little something like this.

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